| April 7, 1917
deep concentration seized on me, and I perceived that
I was identifying myself with a single cherry-blossom, then through
it with all cherry-blossoms, and, as I descended deeper in the
consciousness, following a stream of bluish force, I became suddenly
the
cherry-tree itself, stretching towards the sky like so many arms, its
innumerable branches laden with their sacrifice of flowers. Then I
heard
distinctly this sentence: "Thus hast thou made thyself one with
the soul
of the cherry-trees and so thou canst take note that it is the Divine
who
makes the offering of this flower-prayer to heaven."
When I had written it, all was effaced; but now the blood of the
cherry-tree flows in my veins and with it flows an incomparable peace
and
force. What difference is there between the human body and the body
of a
tree? In truth, there is none: the consciousness which animates them
is
identically the same.
Then the cherry-tree whispered in my ear: "It is in the cherry-blossom
that lies the remedy for the disorders of the spring".
Akakura: July 13, 1917
 ne
day I wrote:
"My heart has fallen asleep down to the very depths of my being...."
Merely
asleep? I cannot believe it. I think it is completely hushed, perhaps
forever. From sleep one awakes, from this quietness there is no falling
back. And since that day I have not observed any relapse. In place
of
something very intensely concentrated which for a long while was
intermittently tumultuous, has come an immensity so vast and calm and
untroubled, filling my being; or rather my being has melted into that;
for
how could that which is limitless be contained in a form?
And these great mountains with their serene contours which I see from
my
window, range after majestic range up to the very horizon, are in perfect
harmony with the rhythm of this being, filled with an infinite peace.
Lord,
couldst Thou have taken possession of Thy kingdom? Or rather of this
part
of the kingdom, for the body is still obscure and ignorant, slow to
respond, without plasticity. Will it be purified one day like the rest?
And
will Thy victory then be total? It matters little. This instrument
is what
Thou wantest it to be and its bliss is unalloyed.
From Mother's Agenda Sept. 15, 1962:
[Mother] " 'Prayers and Meditations' came to me, you know - it
was
dictated each time. I would write at the end of my concentration,
and it
didn't pass through the mind, it just came - and it obviously came
from
someone interested in beautiful form. I used to keep it under
lock and key
so nobody would see it. But when I came here Sri Aurobindo asked
about it,
so I showed him a few pages and then he wanted to see the rest.
Otherwise
I would have always kept it locked away. I destroyed whatever
was left -
there were five thick volumes in which I had written every single day
(
there was some repetition, of course): the outcome of my concentrations.
So I chose which parts would be published (Sri Aurobindo helped in
the
choice), copied them out, and then I cut the pages up and had the rest
burned.
[Satprem] That's a shame!
[Mother] There are a few original fragments left from what was
published -
I distributed almost all of them; the ink has faded, it's practically
white. I burned everything.
[Satprem] It's really a shame.
[Mother] It wasn't written for anyone and wasn't meant to be read.
I
showed it to Sri Aurobindo because he was speaking of certain things
and I
said, 'Ah, yes, that's the experience I had in ....' Then I showed
him my
notebook for that date (there was something written for each day).
Five thick notebooks, year after year.... Even here I kept on writing
for a
while. I wrote a lot in Japan. Anyway, everything of general
interest was
kept. But that's why there are gaps in the dates, otherwise it would
be
continuous - it was monumental, you know!
It's only here that people started wanting to keep and keep and keep.
(Mother makes a gesture of throwing everything over her shoulder.)
The
world is moving fast, the world is moving fast, fast, fast - why keep
anything?" |
