 ENEVA, SWITZERLAND -- World Health Organization officials expressed disappointment Monday at the group's finding that, despite the enormous efforts of doctors, rescue workers and other medical professionals worldwide, the global death rate remains constant at 100 percent. Death, a metabolic affliction causing total shutdown of all life functions, has long been considered humanity's number one health concern. Responsible for 100 percent of all recorded fatalities worldwide, the condition has no cure.
-- From a news story in The Onion, a humor newspaper
"New Crispy Snack Cracker To Ease Crushing Pain Of Modern Life."
-- Headline in The Onion
If God dwells inside us, like some people say, I sure hope He likes enchiladas, because that's what He's getting!
-- Jack Handey, Deep Thoughts
Acceptance without proof is the fundamental characteristic of western religion; rejection without proof is the fundamental characteristic of western science.
-- Gary Zukav, The Dancing Wu Li Masters
Bob was as perplexed as a hacker who means to access T:flw.quid55328.com\aaakk/ch@ung but gets T:\flw.quidaaakk/ ch@ung by mistake.
-- Ken Krattenmaker
"Out of mind. Back in five minutes."
-- Bumper sticker
And Jesus said unto them, "And who do you say that I am?" They replied, "You are the eschatological manifestation of the ground of our being, the ontological foundation of the context of our very selfhood revealed." And Jesus replied, "What?"
-- From the Internet
Not to perambulate the corridors in the hours of repose in the boots of ascension.
-- Translation on sign in Austrian hotel catering to skiers
If you ever reach total enlightenment while you're drinking a beer, I bet it makes beer shoot out your nose.
-- Jack Handey, Deep Thoughts
When cryptography is outlawed, bayl bhgynjf jvyy unir cevinpl.
-- Anon.
The root and full practice of the arts lies in the recognition that art is power: an instrument of communion between the self and all that is sacred.
-- Peter London
TrO{gO DsA[M,bN HyAqR4tDc TgrOo TgYPmE WeIjTyH P;AzWqS,.
-- Top reason dogs don't use computers
When I thought of the poetics of such a confrontation in the blackness of eternity, I laughed sardonically, in a dry voice, to myself.
-- From rejected manuscript at Isaac Asimov's Science Fiction Magazine
God never takes His works seriously; therefore one looks out on this wonderful universe.
-- Sri Aurobindo
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